The best part about being away from Parker is how much I appreciate all the time I do get to spend with him. He’s such a good baby. He’s happy and content almost all of the time. He goes to sleep easily, he nurses easily, he smiles at us all the time and coos when we talk to him. He loves the changing table and the bath.  He doesn’t like getting dressed or riding in the car but he’s very easy to soothe when he does get upset.

The other day he laughed at us for the first time. It was Saturday, July 10.  We were listening to Bulletproof by LaRoux. I was holding Parker and dancing around. Moving his arms and bouncing him up and down to the beat. I called Dustin in because we were having so much fun and we were all dancing together. Then Parker, who was just starting to smile and coo at us giggled. It was the cutest sound I’ve ever heard.

Me: If someone asked me who was the happiest person I know I would say you. How do you do it? I want to be like you but I focus on negative too much.

Her: Thanks! I think I just realized that I cant change everything around me but I can determine how I feel. I try to remember that I am the only one who decides how my day will be. So I can make it a happy/good day or not.

Me: ok, I can do that. I have so many things to be happy about but then I waste time being sad/frustrated about a few things and I need to stop.

Her: Yeah, I know what you mean. Life is hard and stressful but just think about that sweet baby of yours and everything will be ok!

Its good advice. Im going to try harder. I have a really great life, one that I used to dream of someday having. I shouldn’t waste a minute being unhappy.

The morning went well enough. Anne, the temp, was super nice and had a 5 month old baby at home so we had a lot to talk about. We covered as much as we could but I found I was really grateful that I would have 3 days to train her, it looked like we’d need most of it in order to cover everything. We took a break at lunch and I went to see my ob for my 38 week appointment. As usual I was excited and nervous to see her. I had been 3 cm dilated for a couple weeks already and was anxious to see if there had been any change. At my 37 week appointment she took pity on me and all the doctor appointments I was having to go to and said she would think about inducing me at 39 weeks as long as my baby was big enough. I was (unrealistically) hoping she would go ahead and schedule that even though I hadn’t had the ultrasound yet.

To my disappointment that wouldn’t happen. Then she checked me and found out that I was 4 cm dilated, 80% efaced and that the baby was even lower than before. She said she would strip my membranes and then see if  I went into labor on my own. For some reason I was under the impression that the stripping of the membranes would happen the following week. Then she did something and told me to tell her to stop if it hurt too bad. It didnt hurt but I asked what she was doing and she said she was separating the bag of waters from the uterus. Then she told me that if nothing happened and I wanted to come back later in the week she would do it again, otherwise she would just do it again at my next appointment.

I went out to my car and called my mom to ask her what stripping the membranes involved. It was only after talking to her that I really understood that the doctor had already done it. I didnt think too much of it though, after all I had been 3 cm for several weeks with no real change and the doctor telling me I could come back later in the week and have her do it again didnt give me much confidence in it having any effect. I called Dustin, let my sisters know and went back to work. Every mother I told had the same reaction “oh wow, things could move fast now”.  Still, I wasnt counting on it.

I did spend the rest of the afternoon trying to cover as much work material with Anne as possible though, just in case.

I was distracted and crampy all afternoon but figured it was no big deal, just a little discomfort as a result of the doctor stripping my membranes. After work I went to target then came home and told Dustin about my day. He asked if he should put our hospital bags and infant seat in the car just in case and I told him I didn’t think it was necessary but he could if it would make him feel better so he did. Then we went to Pick up Stix for dinner and after that I asked him if he would take me to McDonalds for an ice cream cone. I was joking when I said “I could go in to labor tonight and then I wont get one for a while after that!”

After we got home I did laundry while Dustin worked and then around 11 I took a shower and was going to go to bed. After my shower something happened and I thought that maybe my water broke. It felt like a small pop and then a little trickle but I wasnt sure. Instead of going to bed I went back out and sat on the couch with Dustin. I didnt tell him about the water breaking because I wasnt sure and I didnt want to bother him with it in case it was nothing. But then the cramps (which were still there) got a little worse. At one point I said to Dustin “Right now this kind of hurts really bad and Im not sure what it means but Im telling you just in case”

The cramps came irregularly but painfully for a little while after that. They were every 7 minutes, 12 minutes, 10 minutes… and on like that for an hour. But it wasn’t what I expected contractions to feel like so I still kind of wrote it off as possibly nothing. I thought labor would feel like painful braxton hicks contractions but this felt more like menstrual cramps. Around 12 Dustin suggested we go to bed and see what happened. That lasted for about 15 minutes. Then I had to get up because the pain was just too much. The cramps were coming every 2-3 minutes and I was confused by that. I was supposed to go to the hospital when my contractions were every 5 minutes for an hour and that hadn’t happened yet. I was still waiting for that to happen. I paced around for a while and then called my mom who told me it sounded like I was in labor and suggested I call the hospital. I called the hospital and they told me to take a shower, try to relax, stay home for a while longer and call my doctor (I may not have told them the ‘cramps’ were 2-3 minutes apart already). I called my doctor and she told me to go ahead and go to the hospital.

Dustin packed up all our stuff while I just tried to deal with the pain. I was still not sure going to the hospital was the right thing to do, I was so afraid of going to hospital only to be sent home.  Then I started shaking uncontrollably even though I wasn’t cold. I felt a little better about going to the hospital at that point as I knew shaking was a labor thing. I guess I should have been even more convinced when I started feeling like I was about to throw up and yet somehow, I wasn’t.

The nausea passed and we walked out to the parking structure together and then Dustin ran ahead to get the car. Dustin drove as fast as he could without risking getting a ticket while I was still just dealing with the pain. It was getting even worse and I remember gripping Dustins hand with my left hand, the car door handle with my right hand and pressing down with my right foot as hard as I could but I could still talk to Dustin in between. As we got closer to the hospital I told Dustin that we needed to valet the car and that I needed him to just grab the cameras and come with me.

We finally made it there and in the doors and up the elevator to labor and delivery to see that no one was sitting at the reception desk. I had to stop at a chair and wait for a contraction to pass while Dustin went over and buzzed the intercom. They opened the door for us and we walked in and over to the nurses station and I said “Im Julie Boling, my doctor called, I think I’m in labor”

They had me sign some forms and then a nurse, Randi, walked with us to our room. I walked in and took off my watch as if it was the source of all my pain and handed it to Dustin. Then Randi gave me a gown and told me to go into the bathroom and change. I left my clothes in a pile on the floor and then went back in to the room and climbed on the bed. Randi checked me to see how far along I was and then said “wow, you are already 8 cm”. I didnt have to think for very long about what my next question was … “Can I still get an epidural?” She said yes and I felt a little better. Pretty soon after that 4 more nurses came in. One hooked up my iv while another set up the baby station while still another set up the delivery table all while Randi was still doing her thing. I guess they were a little nervous about how quickly things might happen at that point. As people were moving around me Dustin also had to move to find a free space but I needed him to hold my hand. Whenever he would have to move Id just stick my hand out somewhere else and he would go hold it. It wasn’t something we talked about but he seemed to catch on to the outstretched hand quick enough, something I was really grateful for. He was my lifeline.

The contractions were really bad at that point and I was struggling to make it through.  Dustin continued to hold my hand and reminded me to breathe and that I just had to make it through one at a time. At some point I heard Randi say “I need an epidural in 45″.  I looked at Dustin and said “I cant wait that long” and he, very calmly, said “we’re in room 45, Im pretty sure that’s what she meant”. During contractions Id close my eyes, breathe and press my face into the pillow. In between contractions Id look at one of two things, Dustin or the iv bag that Randi had told me Id need to finish before the epidural could be administered. Since the iv bag always seemed to be halfway full looking at Dustin was definitely more helpful than looking at the iv bag.

The pain was so bad that it got to the point where I told Dustin that I couldn’t do it anymore. Im not really sure what the point of saying that was as I knew I didn’t really have a choice but for some reason I just really needed to say it.

Randi told me I was lucky that the anesthesiologist there at the time would give me the epidural without waiting for blood work to come which was really great because I don’t imagine we had time to wait for that. Eventually he came and started the epidural. I don’t remember having any pain when he stuck me but I do remember being disappointed that I still had to work through a few more contractions before it started to take effect. Before long I could feel the contractions getting shorter and less painful, my legs started to feel really warm and then after a while I wasn’t in any pain anymore.

That was a happy moment.

As soon as she could Randi checked me again and discovered that I was 10 cm dilated. She told me we would wait for an hour for the baby to move further down on his own and then try pushing. I spent the next hour chatting with Dustin and my parents. After that hour the baby was so low that they called my doctor and asked her to come to the hospital. We waited a little longer for her to get there and then she got there and I started pushing.  I pushed through 3 contractions and the baby was here!

Parker Dane Boling was born at 4:55 am on Tuesday, April 6th, 2010. He was 7 lbs, 6 ounces and 20 inches long.

Dustin and I spent the first hour alone with Parker loving him and cuddling him. It was a wonderful, amazing time for all of us. We love him so much.

Its only been a week and I cant imagine life without him.

You can see Dustins on his blog here.

I have an email that I need to reply to so I start that but quickly get bored

and decide to finally write on my blog, but as I start that I remember something else I want to write about

so I save the post Ive started and start a new one

but, surprise …  I get bored of that too

so I check my google reader and am drawn to other peoples blogs and find a post by Design Mom linking to, Knit Twits etsy store and these:

and, oooh, I need those. But I am bad at ordering things online

so before I get sucked in to etsy and all the beautiful things there I go back to my google reader and find a new post by The Pioneer Woman which naturaly leads me to her website

where I am quickly, er… eventually drawn to her posts about how she met and fell in love with her husband

which reminds me of how I met and fell in love with my husband

which brings me back to wordpress with new ideas for blog posts including many many nights at Disneyland

but with too many ideas to choose from I decide to go back to the email I still need to finish but am distracted

by a different email

AND … here I am, with a lot of things started and nothing finished…

except this post.